A Grandmother's Grieving Heart

 Heavenly Father,

Kayo po ang may hawak ng lahat. Mula sa kapanganakan namin at sa mga salita na sinasabi namin. 

I went down to cook lugao this 2AM because I was not feeling well. Suddenly I heard footsteps — it was my lola. 

I politely told her to taste my meal despite full of spices(siling labuyo) as a common courtesy with a caution that it was spicy since she was not a fan of those. She politely declined.

The wee hours of the morning, I was dragged to her room — her heart aches, informed me of her struggles: my uncle who sleeps with an estranged and wed person who has kids but sleeps under our roof, and another uncle who left because "inaalila daw siya" and our kasambahay who babbles and spills lies to tailor her own disposition, she was left in tears. 

Am I a bad person? — Lola muttered..

A quick jolt entered my mind who was a living example for our household. 

Is mom a bad person?

At this point she is trying her best to spew her merits to avoid the topic while venting. 

The very same person you raised was raised in the same pond and was left in the sea and yet you ponder if you are a bad person.

We were given our responsibilities to raise a family with a whole hearted fear of the Lord. 

The Lord has given you a Godly daughter and only He can take it away. The verses left on her table, the Godly foosteps and a Christlike mind — only He can give.

After a 2 hour conversation, I did not realize that the Lord has graced me with a conversation with the truth of the gospel to which I am surprised was not met with bitterness.

As the days go on, Lord, before my plans manifest may your plans come first. I pray that in her 90s, bigyan niyo po ako ng kasipagan sa binigay niyo po na responsibility alagan ang pag patuloy ng family worship kay lola.

I remembered when my mom prayed to Christ, sharing with my sister na habaan ang edad ni lola. 

An answered prayer. 

Help me Yahweh. I AM A POOR SERVANT BUT IN YOUR WORKS I AM RICH.

Lord..

May my prayers be Christ like the same say You were praying with the Father.

All the glory is yours.